Aish HaTorah International - Meeting the Challenges Facing the Jewish People

EIN OD MILVADO - A Personal Account

I never got a chance to write to you about my ain od milvado moment as a result of your class.  I would like to write of my experience - basically, I was having one of those, “I’m ready to crack” moments. it seemed as if there was a dizzying whirlwind of chaos flying around me.  As I remembered you say, “just try it”. I mentally took a step back and forced myself to concentrate on the fact that Hashem was with me, right there and that Hashem was actually sending this whirlwind as a message to me. 

As I tried to hear Hashem’s voice inside of me, I felt a barrier-like wall drop, as if I just took a heavy coat off. This entire process took seconds.   All of a sudden I wasn’t looking at the scene with the same pair of eyes anymore.  I calmly walked over to the two boys bickering and with love for both, I saw the blood lust dissolve like ice in warm water. I extended my arms to the two that were crying and pulling my skirt and then they just all of a sudden left the room to go play in the other room.  In a matter of minutes, I found myself alone in the kitchen and was able to make dinner quickly and quietly.  My soul was silenced by the awe of connection and my mind was so grateful that the scene did not take the path I thought it would, one of anger, frustration and screaming, a giant chasm between me and Hashem.    

Thank you!